Addicted

Flying High....into the hot searing desert

And I thought Minnesota was a long, long ways away....

The 421st Fighter Squadron (a.k.a. Black Widows...hottest frikin' mascot ever!) is off to Afghanistan and Eye Candy has left the country...sad for me, sad for him, sad for Al Qaeda; because I promise you, he will blow their sorry asses into the afterlife (just the thought of his hot little hand pushing that bomb button makes my toes curl, luv me a man who will kill bad guys AND has the patience to golf with me...one in a million).I pray for his safety and a speedy return...although if you ask him he'll tell you that he'll stay in the desert forever just to blow things up, even though he hates the heat as much as I do. So he earns 25 points for basic patriotism, 20 points for having the sexiest job on the planet, 5 points for his undying dedication, and 50 points for making my day/week/month/year...perfect score.

God Bless America

I love this place....yea me for being born in the land of the free and the home of the brave...

I Love My Country

Why do I love the US? Because...

1. I'm free to jump in a car (with my friend Natalie) throw down a tarp and camp in the middle of a forest (the tents was only used as a changing room). Of course when we woke up to 1/2 the campground walking by...pointing...and laughing. Unadventurous wimps.
Natalie giving it a thumbs up
Me giving it a thumbs up

2. Natural Wonders.
After waking up Natalie toured Mystery Cave, which as far as caves go was about a 4. (After Mammoth Cave everything else is kind of a disappointment)

Stalagmites

Turquoise Lake (that was impressive)

3. Amish

We were on a highway and slammed on the brakes so I could take this picture...
I'm not a very good picture taker in the middle of the highway

Bless the Amish and their baked goods!!!

4. 50 states to explore
Being the rock star that she is, Natalie took me to Iowa (I'd never been there before)

And with Iowa comes: Random Laura Ingalls Wilder museums

Our tour guide was the most adorable 19-year-old who let me get up

close and personal with "Pa Ingalls"...the creepiest doll EVER made

Laura and Almonso were little people

5. Cheese
After camping and Iowa we scooted on over to Wisconsin in search for cheese...and we found it in Ellsworth WI: THE CHEESE CURD CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!!!! Died and went to heaven!

We stopped at the Highway 63 Cafe for some fried fish and chicken fried steak. It was totally famazing, and the restaurant owner was super excited because we were so excited (probably the 12,000 Amish sugar calories we'd consumed). She was small town wonderful: baby blue sweat pants rolled up around her knees, covered in leg tattoos, brought us free FRIED cheese curds. I love her! We're going back because they were the greatest curds on the planet!

Curds for the road

6. A Prairie Home Companion
There was a free taping of the show in Avon MN and Natalie, Claire and I drove the extra mile to attend. It was great! It was a celebration of freedom at its best!

Claire, my feet, and Natalie soaking up the sun

I pray I never grow old and become the ornery couple in the background
who refused to sit next to each other. I wanted to give them my business card
for a little therapeutic love check-up

Carrie died and went to

Carrie died and went to cheese curd heaven!

Hypocrite

I locked myself in my house all weekend to work on a project (seriously, what do I know about building an educational video game?). Well, I got super bored and decided that it was time to expand my Minnesota friends and meet people...so I followed Sharon's advice and joined www.plentyoffish.com.

Now, how many clients have I reprimanded for meeting freaks online? Yep, almost all of them. And as many of you know I am an E-Harmony failure and there isn't a single person on that site who is compatible with me (how do I know that? Because the 3 months I was on it I didn't get a single hit). And back in my 20's I met someone online who turned out to be a druid...so there are reasons I don't think online anything is a good idea. But anywhoo, I signed up for PoF and in a matter of minutes my inbox was filling up (it's because I posted the pictures that Koug took, a picture of my car that was made in 1954, and the photo of me holding up my target at the shooting rang...and I titled my profile as "Wanted: Man with BBQ Who Loves to Travel"...total man bait). I was kind of excited, yet freaked at the same time because it was like I was fresh meat being thrown to plenty of fish.

So I opened the first email and was greeted by "in2girlz" and his "how you doin? I love your eyes" which was accompanied by a greasy looking dude looking over his sunglasses....uh thanks in2girlz but no thanks. So I opened "MNhiker" and was greeted by "how you doin? You have the most amazing eyes" accompanied by a guy in his 50's that was in a picture with his grandkids...folks, I read over 15 "you have the most amazing eyes" emails from various creepy guys of various ethnicities in an hour. Flattering: yes. Scary: yes. Still meeting people: yes.

Two guys are actually kind of cute...one is a toddler bachelor and a total pyro. We chatted about burning things for a good 2 hours (he told me I should become a model because "no sh*t every time he looks at my pictures he gets lost in my eyes"....his words not mine). And the other one follows every sentence with a "Grrrrr"...as in "I love your eyes, Grrrrrrrr. And your hair. Don't even get me going on your hair, Grrrrrrrr. You look amazing in that dress, Grrrrrrr." That's a rather rabid way of coming on to a girl isn't it?

So, did I break my "never meet guys online" rule? Yes I did. Has it made me want to marry "eye-candy"? Yes it has. Now, if I can just get his Guinness loving Catholic eyes lost in my baby blues for 30 seconds I think I'll have a chance...Grrrrrr.

Oh, and this site has the strangest, and sometimes totally inappropriate advertisements. This is one that totally made me giggle:

BBW
Tired of dating twigs?!.

Part Zwei: Why Guys Find Me Irresistible (on the golf course)

Why do guys find me irresistible on the golf course?

1. I forget I need a ball to make a fake golf picture believable
2. I hold golf clubs like I'm holding a bat (that did change after some one-on-one time with eye candy...)
3. I'm awkwardly tall with big boobs, try hunching over a club with those in the way...although it does make for a great cleavage shot (that wasn't premeditated...he,he)
4. The only time I actually hit the ball is when I drop the f-bomb (under my breath of course)
5. I trip getting in the cart...and getting out of the cart...just walk it off
6. I get super serious when I'm nervous, which only exacerbates my perfectionistic downfall, which only makes me more nervous...my life is a vicious cycle
7. I giggle when you call the ball a "bastard" and tell the "son of a bitch" to get in the hole (couldn't help myself, it was the first time I've ever heard eye-candy swear...I was strangely turned on)
8. I pack three pairs of shoes in my golf bag...yeah, I don't know why either
9. I'm easily distracted (my blue eyes are even bluer when they're looking into other blue eyes...recessive genes really do belong together)
10. When I'm really, really concentrating on hitting the ball things fall out of my mouth...like gum (I'm just glad it wasn't drool...because there was plenty of that going on as well)