28 June 2011


 So today, while blitzing down the freeway eating a Rolo McFlurry (death by caramel) I realized that I never shared my famazing Christmas stories.  So, for my die hard readers, here's the low down:

Lori and I decided to be the adult children parents everywhere dream of.  We drove 12 hours from the SLUT to Quartzite AZ.  Quartzite is what I like to call a Retirement Ranch where people go to make things out of seashells and wait for death. 

The closer you get to AZ the more amazing the sky gets
And the more desolate the landscape gets
The Rents were totally surprised (ok, mom was surprised, dad knew we were coming). 

My parents are notorious for throwing awesome Christmas Eve parties.  And considering they're the popular kids on the retirement ranch they had a huge shin-dig planned.  Lori and I sat across from each other in their great room and texted each other while the adults had this conversation:

lady 1:  "so, does anyone know where the ambulance went this morning?"
man 1:  "lot 53"
lady 2:  "I heard she had a heart attack"
my father:  "well, there goes another place up for sale"
lady 1:  "you know it's bad when they don't run the siren"
man 2:  "I rode in an ambulance once"
lady 2:  "oh yea, I was on lifeflight"

this conversation escalated until everyone was trying to outdo each other's medical issues...

lady 1:  "ever since I had my hysterectomy I pee when I sneeze"
man 2:  "what's in this bean salad?"
lady 2:  "I hate Medicare"
man 1:  "I went to Mexico to have my bunions removed."

It really was surreal.  Lori and I just sat there in horror, knowing that eventually we'd be the ones wearing support socks and orthopedic shoes under our highly flammable polyester elastic waist pants.  And that life would eventually evolve around medical issues.

the conversation continued...

lady 1 to lady 2:  "they just changed my heart medication and now I get the worst hot flashes"

it was about this time that Lori snapped and nonchalantly said, "Shit happens" as she popped a chip in her mouth.

The tone of the party took a slight turn at that point...

Christmas day was full of rip-roaring desert exploring (that's what people do on the retirement ranch).  Uncle Dick let Lori and I ride take his 4-wheeler for a ride
While the Rents got in their mega wheeler thingy and Uncle D kicked it in the jeep (pansy)
It's amazing what bored people can do with some plastic cups and some Christmas lights
We went baha-ing in the desert to look for crystals and meteorites...or something like that
All we found were oodles of cacti
 and lots of heat
 and more cacti
 and lots of rocks
 but no crystals
 just cacti (are you getting the point of how awesome this day was?)
 But we DID find a prehistoric footprint in the rock
I took pictures of Lori's ass
And she took pictures of mine
 Because that's what sisters do
 Then Lori went climbing like a spider monkey
 and did I (trying to show off for Hot Rock Climber Guy back home)
 We took some family photos
 And held hands for who knows hell why
Then we took more tours of more random things
  and took more pictures
 I documented the retirement ranch on film
With all of it's amazing glory
And cacti...
 and more cacti...
 and more cacti...
 and...yep, more cacti.  Only this one has boobs, which is why my mom named it "bubbles"
 It was a great visit.  But as is usual with most vacations, the best part was going home...
It was super snowy in Utah and I LOVED it!
 What I didn't love was waking up on my birthday with pink eye and a sinus infection...ugh
 It was even worse when Lori woke up with the same thing...
Total death warmed over.  So after getting meds from the doctor we decided to try a more natural approach:

Nothing a good ol fashioned tea bagging can't fix
 ok, it didn't fix anything, but it sure did make us laugh

19 June 2011

Cakes & Crafts

...or what I'd rather be doing. 

For whatever reason being in school makes me want to do nothing but craft and create.  I'll take sewing over statistics any day.  Here are some of my second semester creations:

Major hat attack (here's a sampling):

Newborn white newsboy
Keaton's Owl:

For my little friend at church:
Flower Power:

For Baby Brooklyn (big sister Adia's is blue):

Cakes (the ones that weren't for raunchy bachelorette parties):

Sour Cream Almond cake with raspberry buttercream filling....yum

Probably my favorite cake I've ever made...although from this angle it looks a little tipsy, it wasn't.

My first cupcake wedding:
I was skeptical at first, the bride ordered white chocolate cupcakes with white chocolate shavings, strawberry cupcakes with fondant roses, and lemon cupcakes with lemon wedge candies on top.  I thought they were going to clash but they looked adorable together and fit the venue perfectly (an old barn that screamed "Martha Stewart would DIE to do a wedding here").

Here I am with my Minnesota adopted mom Merna (she's such a cute little thing), her son was the one who got married.

Felt up:

I don't know why I'm obsessed with felt but I totally am.  I came up with this idea when I was trying to think of something cute (and cheap) to make for the girls I worked with at church:
 They hold a little Book of Mormon.  I'm pretty sure I could make these all day, so many things one could do!!!

And then THE BIG project:  a bean bag for a photo prop.

This one used 3 yards of flannel, FIFTEEN yards of felt and 8 cubic feet of these: 

First I made the inner part:

 Then I jammed up my sewing machine trying to make the cover:

But after two solid weeks of work I managed to get it all together:

So super cute!  I had some scraps left over so I whipped up a rug for my friend's daughter

I'd give myself an A for my ability to avoid doing what I'm really suppose to be doing.  Unfortunately, I can't get a PhD in my ability to avoid what I'm suppose to be doing :(