28 July 2012

The More Misfits the Merrier

True, I was the kid who dragged home every stray cat, dog, or kid I could find AND I was partial to the semi deformed or broken toys.  I've always identified with the slightly dejected and unlovable.  I couldn't help it.  If something needed love, I was more than happy to give it.

Fast forward to 2012. 

I've calloused over a bit, mostly because I don't have space for every stray that comes my way.  If I hadn't set some boundaries my house would be filled to the brim with one eyed cats and two legged dogs...and we all know what happens to those people:  they end up on the nightly news.  If I make the news I don't want it to be for bringing down property values for animal hoarding. 

But, by the look of the inhabitants of my fish tank, you'd think I was up to my old shenanigans.  Let me introduce you (from left to right)
First there is Adler.  He was born with a crooked spine and only one tiny little fin.  He's also neurotic and a nervous swimmer.  He spends his day zipping back and forth from one end of the tank to the next.  He's a fantastic horizontal swimmer...but he has problems with vertical swims.  One fin and a crooked spine make that a difficult task.  Every time he does make it to the top we all cheer, it's a glorious moment. 
Then there is Lola.  She has has a stunted growth problem and floats upside down after eating.   

Neot is the most normal looking of the bunch, except one of his eyes is twice the size of the other.  His most annoying habit is that he likes to eat poop...but only when it's coming out of Charlie.  I assume he has a mineral deficiency, but I can't prove it, so I just do my best to ignore his disgusting habit.

Finally there's Charlie.  Charlie was a mean little SOB when I brought him.  He spent a lot of time corralled in corner.  He was also orange and black.  Now he's just all orange with a GYNORMOUS growth covering his head.  He's totally and completely blinded by the fleshy helmet that shows no sign of slowed growth.  Charlie also spends the majority of his day upside down.  It's like my very own synchronized swim team
It's a tank of special needs.  But I didn't buy them because they were problem pets (except for Adler, I bought him for his crooked spine, it wasn't until later I discovered he only had one fin).  They appeared perfectly healthy when I brought them home.  But once they officially became mine their specialness came out (reason #245 why God will never let me have kids).

We're a family of misfits.  All of us.  I have double jointed shoulders, and food issues, and am slightly neurotic myself.  Whenever I look at them it's kind of like looking at me.   
Only my eyes are the same size and I swim in a different tank. 

25 July 2012

This Weeks Music List

I'd be telling a lie if I said I've listened to music this week...I haven't.  The only thing I've been doing this week is cramming a semester's worth of trauma (class) into 40 hours...two days to go.  We'll see if I make it without totally falling apart.  So I actually put this list together at the end of last week...but it's full of great listens.  Who wouldn't love a band with a name like "We Were Promised Jetpacks"? 

22 July 2012

The River Styx

One arrow.
That's all it took.
One arrow, one action, one statement.

Sometimes the smallest arrows leave the largest wounds.

20 July 2012

What's Grosser than Gross?

I like to consider myself a somewhat adventurous person.  I'll try just about anything (unless it has the potential to put me in rehab or an STD clinic).  When I saw the announcement for the Midwest Tomato Fest I was pretty excited.  Who hasn't heard about and wanted to join La Tomatina in Spain?  The Midwest Tomato Fest was my opportunity to get a taste of this famed Spanish tradition.

After attending I realize why this type of festival hasn't caught on in more locations...and I actually regret that it caught on in mine.

My first warning sign should have been the advisory clause about wearing goggles.  My roomie and I stopped at the dollar store to pick some up.  Goggles are not sexy (worse pictures to follow), especially dollar store goggles.  I think they were made out of stolen plexiglass.  They came pre scratched and had a funky smell.
But the funky goggle smell was a helluva lot better than thousands of pounds of semi rotting tomatoes baking in 95 degree weather.  Seriously, it reminded me of when we use to drive by the dead animal pit when I was a child (I have no idea why there was a dead animal pit, there just was).
The crowd was something else.  I'm pretty sure these people wouldn't have even been let in a NASCAR event...it was the low of the low at this event.  There were lots of "I love dicks" tank tops and tacky-ass tattoos walking around.  I think we all wanted to leave the moment we arrived but none of us spoke up.
Me wondering how I could escape without looking like a total party pooper.

We did however take lots of pictures:
Those pictures make me laugh so hard.

Now, this is probably the worst picture of me EVER

If I had any sense of pride I wouldn't share this pic, but seriously, those goggles were squishing my cheeks so hard they hurt...this pic is proof of why I am single and childless.  Eek!

Anyway, by the time the actual tomato tossing got underway it was super hot and the smell had reached skunk ass level.  But we dove in like champs. 
I took a lot of tomatoes to the temple and the neck.  I learned really, really fast to keep my mouth closed, and those dollar store goggles fogged over in seconds.  I was totally a blind, and very easy, target.  I lasted all of 5 minutes in the melee.  The stench of rotting tomatoes was so overwhelming that I didn't stay gunked up for an after shot, Melanie and I headed straight to the fire hydrant and hosed off.
 Melissa and Anna weren't so lucky.
Yuck, that picture is like a scratch and sniff, one look and I'm reliving the stench all over again.

In the end it took a garden hose, multiple showers, and a lot of hair brushing to get all of the tomatoes out of my hair.  Nasty.

So, if you're ever tempted to sign up for La Tomatina...don't do it.

16 July 2012

A Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day

You know when you wake from a night of dreams about dying children that it's going to be a doozer...and it has been, oh has it ever been.  But sometimes out of darkness comes brilliance.  So you, my lucky readers (the few on this blog I have left) are going to start getting a weekly list of my favorite music picks...starting today.

I love this video, the glitter on the speakers, synchronized swimming, but most of all the fact that the lead singer is totally the reincarnation of my favorite boyfriend ever.  Adorable from head to toe.  Minute 2:40 - 3:22 would be my favorite part...I'm a big fan of builds.  Young the Giant is fabulous in the acoustic department, and they make this little diddy work too....me likey
The entire new Keane album has been on replay for well over a month.  Rehab did this band a favor.  This is by far my favorite Keane album.  Love this vid.  From the soft lighting to the death dream....lovely as always.  Sigh. 
No official video for this one, but FLOVE ID  If possible I'd date the lead singer so hard and then marry the shit out of him, just so we could mix demons and beat drums together...among other things.
Lana Del Rey...just found this one today, but it fits the day, so it makes the list.  A bit of a crazy vid, but she is retro hot in so many ways, so I don't mind her all covered in blood in the end and the car...oh, the car.  Dramatic whoop!  (although she is painful to listen to live, painful)
Also a find today...this one makes my inner junkie totally happy.  I'd climb Everest any day.
And to end my first music list I thought I'd post my theme song for the year.  Picked December 31, 2011.  In my next life I'm going to put responsible aside and be a crazy ass artist 100% of the time...you can call me Florence. 

13 July 2012


Lately I have been missing him.  Terribly.  Horribly.  To the point of feeling like I'm choking.  I cry.  I cry because his voice is the only one I want to hear. 
I know he'd have the wisdom I've been seeking.  He always did.
He would offer clarity, and understanding.
But all I have is the echo of him in my head, a faded memory I wish I could pray back into existance. 
I miss him.  I miss spending my days with him.  I miss the way his brilliance mingled with my creativity.  I miss the way he listened.  I miss the way he spoke.  I miss listening to him tell me the wild and adventurous stories of his life.

I selfishly want him back.  Back just for me.  Because I need him.  I want him. 
But I can't have him back, in this life anyway. 
I wish I could visit heaven for a day, an hour, 10 minutes.  No, it wouldn't be enough.  But it would be something.  It would be a bit more time with him, and that's all I really want.

That's all I really need.

It's been a long seven years without him.

07 July 2012

Just One More Reason I Love the Catholics

Every year the Basilica throws a two day music festival.  The Basilica is one of my favorite places in Minneapolis.  I love to attend mass there, so of course I love watching thousands of people get drunk and listen to rock music there as well.
I went to the Basilica Block Party (BBP) a couple of years ago (you can check that adventure out here:  The Way God Intended it To Be).  One of the reasons I got tickets this year is because it's literally impossible for me to pass up the opportunity to high five the pope.  Like totally impossible.  I can't even fathom how fantastic life would be if I could wake up and high five the Pope every morning.  I'd be like "yo Pope, let's start this day off with a high five and some Cheerios"....I dream. 
And I'll go ahead and say it...the Pope makes me look fat.  Yuck.

Anyway, it was 111 degrees (with the heat index) when the first act (Mat Kearny) started.  That is HOT, it was so hot my shins were perspiring...but I wasn't the only one.  It was a total sweat fest.  Yet totally amazing.  I was so excited to be smashed in a huge crowd waiting to hear some live music that I could hardly contain myself.

And then this cloud showed up and blocked the sun...
And the crowd went WILD.  I've never seen a bunch of people so excited over a little shade.  But then that cloud turned into a RAGING storm and it went from 111 degrees to a sopping wet fest, and it was FANTASTIC.  I don't know if I've ever been that happy.  Fabulous music, warm rain gushing from the sky.  Serious love.  Mat was a trooper and kept playing...
Until it was raining so hard that there was a electrical shortage and all of the equipment stopped working.   That was a bit of a bummer.  But it was the ultimate concert experience and I was elated (you totally can't tell that it's pouring rain in this picture...but trust me, it was wet.
I've never been that wet fully clothed (yes Lori...that's what she said)
The Catholics threw all caution to the wind this year and plastered these on everyone who bought a raffle ticket.  
Side note:  Mormons are way too uptight and holy to hold an event even remotely close to the BBP, but I praise the Catholics for their sense of humor and willingness to capitalize on the amount of alcohol the average Minnesotan can pack away.  I mean, who needs tithing when you have Budweiser?

The band I was totally stoked to see was Imagine Dragons.  They have been rocking my world lately and they did not disappoint.  The lead singer, Dan (I could scream that in the heat of passion, just so yo know) was totally on his game.  So much so St. Whoever-is-behind him also had is hand raised in holy rocking praise.
One of my favorite moments was this
And then this...
Sigh...music makes me feel so alive.  

And wearing my favorite shoes of summer 2012....also enlivening. 

02 July 2012

01 July 2012

Incurable Wounds

There are some things the writer can not write 
Things the healer can not heal

Doors we think are sealed
Break open, shattering us from the inside
Exposing things we'd hidden

Incurable wounds